Do you let them know?
We had discussions in my classroom Thursday about student behavior. Our school reports Social-Emotional Character Development scores of respect and responsibility weekly (4 is exceptional, 3 is mastery, 2 needs improvement, 1 . . . ). Most of my students are 4s, and a few are 3s, weekly. If a student drops, it's usually in responsibility. They are middle schoolers. These determine eligibility for extra-curriculars; a student who isn't at mastery level also spends some time making a plan to get there.
Let me interject here that I'm not a pushover in the classroom. I'm talked about in the halls as demanding, tough, having high expectations - and mean. The last one bothers me, but I'll be honest - I understand it.
I mentioned to each class that I'd put in their quarterly scores for grade cards coming out next week. I got the typical middle school response - "Oooooh, (fill in name of a kid who is ornery), you better watch out." I laughed and said I had no students below mastery in either respect or responsibility - each and every class period. My 7th graders moved on. My 8th graders were incredulous. "Wait. What about X (substitute the name for a student who routinely gets kicked out of a different class)?" I replied that other students' scores are private, but I also repeated that I had no students who weren't at mastery on respect and responsibility.
I then thanked them for a great job in my classroom of being respectful to not only me, but to each other and to themselves. I explained that it makes MY job easier, and when my job is easier, I'm happier, which makes them happier (and I got the laugh I was going for). The next part is what I wanted to know.
Why do they do well in my classroom even when they don't in others? What's the difference for them? Because, let's be honest, English-Language Arts isn't always a favorite at 8th grade. But these kids, even those who say they don't like reading and/or writing, come in and do what's expected. I got some standard answers, which I appreciated: you treat us like 8th graders and not 2nd graders, your expectations are clear. These are classroom management principles we've all learned. I also cautioned them I don't want names and behaviors of other teachers - just me.
The answer that made me stop and think? "You tell us you care." This 8th grade boy went on to say he believes other teachers in the building care about him, but they don't tell them in those words. They don't do things to let the student know - the way the student needs to know - that they care. I have to say this stopped me in my tracks. Really.
What is it I do to tell them, show them, I care? I'm not sure. I know what I do. I try to comment on something that isn't academic - sports, chess, music. I ask how their weekends were. I ask if they are looking forward to something during the week. I listen. I tell them I'm glad they are my kids. I ask them to teach me something I don't know; I share silly, funny stories from my life.
How are we showing students we care? I learned how important it is this week. These kids are at such a crossroads. They want to be independent and grown up, but they crave approval that they are doing it well. They want to establish relationships with adults who aren't their family. They want more than just a common connection of academics.
I think about relationships coaches have with the team. Much of the time, that connection is way deeper than a traditional classroom teacher's connection. Part of the reason is because the athlete has chosen to participate on that team. My students haven't chosen to be in my classroom. How do I let them know they are a valued team member, and I'm glad to have them?
So my question is - how are you showing students you truly care about them? I know we, as teachers, do care about our kids. but how do we clearly communicate that to them ? Because - be real - if they don't know, if it's only us that know, it doesn't matter. This isn't that you care about their behavior, their grades, their performances. This is caring for them - the person.
Do you let students know how much you care about them? We must #reachbeforeteach.
Let me interject here that I'm not a pushover in the classroom. I'm talked about in the halls as demanding, tough, having high expectations - and mean. The last one bothers me, but I'll be honest - I understand it.
I mentioned to each class that I'd put in their quarterly scores for grade cards coming out next week. I got the typical middle school response - "Oooooh, (fill in name of a kid who is ornery), you better watch out." I laughed and said I had no students below mastery in either respect or responsibility - each and every class period. My 7th graders moved on. My 8th graders were incredulous. "Wait. What about X (substitute the name for a student who routinely gets kicked out of a different class)?" I replied that other students' scores are private, but I also repeated that I had no students who weren't at mastery on respect and responsibility.
I then thanked them for a great job in my classroom of being respectful to not only me, but to each other and to themselves. I explained that it makes MY job easier, and when my job is easier, I'm happier, which makes them happier (and I got the laugh I was going for). The next part is what I wanted to know.
Why do they do well in my classroom even when they don't in others? What's the difference for them? Because, let's be honest, English-Language Arts isn't always a favorite at 8th grade. But these kids, even those who say they don't like reading and/or writing, come in and do what's expected. I got some standard answers, which I appreciated: you treat us like 8th graders and not 2nd graders, your expectations are clear. These are classroom management principles we've all learned. I also cautioned them I don't want names and behaviors of other teachers - just me.
The answer that made me stop and think? "You tell us you care." This 8th grade boy went on to say he believes other teachers in the building care about him, but they don't tell them in those words. They don't do things to let the student know - the way the student needs to know - that they care. I have to say this stopped me in my tracks. Really.
What is it I do to tell them, show them, I care? I'm not sure. I know what I do. I try to comment on something that isn't academic - sports, chess, music. I ask how their weekends were. I ask if they are looking forward to something during the week. I listen. I tell them I'm glad they are my kids. I ask them to teach me something I don't know; I share silly, funny stories from my life.
How are we showing students we care? I learned how important it is this week. These kids are at such a crossroads. They want to be independent and grown up, but they crave approval that they are doing it well. They want to establish relationships with adults who aren't their family. They want more than just a common connection of academics.
I think about relationships coaches have with the team. Much of the time, that connection is way deeper than a traditional classroom teacher's connection. Part of the reason is because the athlete has chosen to participate on that team. My students haven't chosen to be in my classroom. How do I let them know they are a valued team member, and I'm glad to have them?
So my question is - how are you showing students you truly care about them? I know we, as teachers, do care about our kids. but how do we clearly communicate that to them ? Because - be real - if they don't know, if it's only us that know, it doesn't matter. This isn't that you care about their behavior, their grades, their performances. This is caring for them - the person.
Do you let students know how much you care about them? We must #reachbeforeteach.
Comments
Post a Comment