Showing parents their student through my eyes
Oct. 27, 2019
We finished conferences a week ago. We had more parents there than I've ever experienced - about 70% of my students were represented during the two evenings. I don't remember having more than a few minutes to take a drink on either evening, and forget going to the bathroom!
I'm blessed. I see these students about 45 minutes a day. I'm not seeing them at their absolute worst most days. I see them with their friends, trying on new roles within their lives. Are they being a leader or a follower? Are they being kind or demanding? Are they funny or serious?
Parents don't get to see their children in this way. They see them in so many other ways it is hard for them to understand their child outside of the paradigm/setting the parent knows the kid. My own children were nothing in the classroom like they were with me. For our middle child, I swear one year we needed a picture to confirm we were talking about the same kid (who pushes, still, every button I have but never did that to teachers).
I get to talk about their child's maturity, leaderhsip, effort and so much more in my classroom. I get to talk about how their student cares for others, and I get to show the parent that their kid is truly turning into a decent teenager. I call my 8th graders "adults in training". They aren't children. These kids are faced with real issues and real struggles, and to refer to them as a child is a bit insulting in my opinion (that's another blog . . .).
We need to build up our young people. So many are out there trying to tear them down. We need to take every opportunity to show them we see the good they are doing. We need to encourage parents to keep on the track they are going when their kid is doing well. We need to offer support to parents who need it, and we need to help even the ones struggling the most to hear one thing - yes, at least just one - about their child. As teachers, can't we find one good thing to share?
With so many ways to keep current on students in the classroom - instant grade access, e-mail, Remind - there's been conversation about redundancy of conferences. I think they are needed - it was great to let parents hear, face-to-face, about how great their child is doing.
We need to affirm our students. We need to let students know teachers are a safe place. Could I have said things that were less positive? Yes, in many cases I could have added some things the parents would rather have not heard. But if this is something a student is working on . . . then I think I'll let the kid work on this a bit longer. I think I can let it ride if a student is seriously working to change. If not . . . the parent would hear about something the student is making progress on (I hope). I might add that the student has a behavior goal in the classroom of xxx and has set some specific ways of attaining it. I'm going to make it be as positive as I can.
Parents have a hard job. So much in our society isn't making it easier, choices students make doesn't make it easier, pressure from adults doesn't make it easier. Competition doesn't make it easier. I'm not out to make it easier, but I do not want to make it harder.
Reach Before Teach. The relationships that I've worked so hard in my classroom to make help this process of parents seeing the positive.
Hope you all are doing well!
(c) Reach Before Teach
We finished conferences a week ago. We had more parents there than I've ever experienced - about 70% of my students were represented during the two evenings. I don't remember having more than a few minutes to take a drink on either evening, and forget going to the bathroom!
I'm blessed. I see these students about 45 minutes a day. I'm not seeing them at their absolute worst most days. I see them with their friends, trying on new roles within their lives. Are they being a leader or a follower? Are they being kind or demanding? Are they funny or serious?
Parents don't get to see their children in this way. They see them in so many other ways it is hard for them to understand their child outside of the paradigm/setting the parent knows the kid. My own children were nothing in the classroom like they were with me. For our middle child, I swear one year we needed a picture to confirm we were talking about the same kid (who pushes, still, every button I have but never did that to teachers).
I get to talk about their child's maturity, leaderhsip, effort and so much more in my classroom. I get to talk about how their student cares for others, and I get to show the parent that their kid is truly turning into a decent teenager. I call my 8th graders "adults in training". They aren't children. These kids are faced with real issues and real struggles, and to refer to them as a child is a bit insulting in my opinion (that's another blog . . .).
We need to build up our young people. So many are out there trying to tear them down. We need to take every opportunity to show them we see the good they are doing. We need to encourage parents to keep on the track they are going when their kid is doing well. We need to offer support to parents who need it, and we need to help even the ones struggling the most to hear one thing - yes, at least just one - about their child. As teachers, can't we find one good thing to share?
With so many ways to keep current on students in the classroom - instant grade access, e-mail, Remind - there's been conversation about redundancy of conferences. I think they are needed - it was great to let parents hear, face-to-face, about how great their child is doing.
We need to affirm our students. We need to let students know teachers are a safe place. Could I have said things that were less positive? Yes, in many cases I could have added some things the parents would rather have not heard. But if this is something a student is working on . . . then I think I'll let the kid work on this a bit longer. I think I can let it ride if a student is seriously working to change. If not . . . the parent would hear about something the student is making progress on (I hope). I might add that the student has a behavior goal in the classroom of xxx and has set some specific ways of attaining it. I'm going to make it be as positive as I can.
Parents have a hard job. So much in our society isn't making it easier, choices students make doesn't make it easier, pressure from adults doesn't make it easier. Competition doesn't make it easier. I'm not out to make it easier, but I do not want to make it harder.
Reach Before Teach. The relationships that I've worked so hard in my classroom to make help this process of parents seeing the positive.
Hope you all are doing well!
(c) Reach Before Teach
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